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| What
is the most effective birth control for a Prochoice
feminist? Her face. |
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| What
do you call a Liberal with PMS? A Prochoice Feminist |
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| What
is the average name of a Prochoice Feminist? Moose. |
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What do you call when you cross a Prochoice Feminist
and an Indian? Moosebear. |
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| What
is a Prochoice Feminist’s favorite perfume? Can De la
Tuna. |
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| What’s
the definition of a “frenzy?” Clinton at a Prochoice
rally. |
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| How
can you tell a Prochoice feminist is having her period?
She is wearing a tampon behind her ear |
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| What
is the new Prochoice feminist craze? Cigars shaped like
tampons. |
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| How
can you tell a Prochoice feminist is having her period?
She is wearing only one boot. |
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| How
did the Prochoice feminist become a millionaire? She
bought a truck load of hangers and sold them as Home
Abortion Kits. |
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| What
do you call a Prochoice feminist speaker? An air bag. |
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| What’s
the difference between a Prochoice feminist and a guerrilla?
Lipstick. |
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| Why
couldn’t Janet Reno’s boyfriend buy her a fur coat?
The fur clashed with her mustache. |
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| Why
does Janet Reno get confused in the ladies room? Because
she’s a man, baby. |
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| Why
do waiters at restaurants always serve Janet Reno’s
dinner on the floor? |
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| Janet
Reno looks like she ran out of money half way through
a sex change operation. |
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What does Janet Reno call a can of tuna fish? Potpourri.
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| What
is the advantage of being an abortionist and believing
the saying: "eat what you kill"? You don’t
have to go out for lunch. |
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| What
is the latest Prochoice feminist abortion craze? Abort
the children after they are born. |
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| What
is the first thing a Prochoice feminist does when her
pregnant daughter goes into labor? Grabs a plastic bag
and looks for the nearest dumpster. |
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| What
is the first thing a Prochoice feminist does when her
pregnant daughter goes into labor? Calls Planned Parenthood
for a late term abortion. |
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| How
can you tell if your kids go to a liberal school? They
do abortions in biology class |
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| What
is the slimy stuff between an Elephants’ toes called?
Liberals on the run. |
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| Why
did Barney Frank want to question gays in the military?
He looked forward to some penetrating examinations.
|
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| Why
does Barney Frank love playing golf in Puerto Rico?
Because everyday he gets to try for another hole in
Juan. |
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| What
is a huge fart in Congress? Barney Frank’s love call. |
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| What
do you call a cross between Barney Frank and an insect?
A Boodyhopper. |
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| What
is event would Barney Frank like to see added to the
Olympics? Drag racing. |
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| Why
is Barney Frank like a frog? The minute he sees flies
his tongues comes out. |
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| What
is the difference between Carville and a catfish? One’s
a scum sucking bottom dweller and ones a fish. |
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| What’s
the difference between Carville and a bald monkey? A
sports jacket. |
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| If
you were in a room with Hitler, Mussolini and Carville
and you only had two bullets what should you do? Shoot
Carville twice. |
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| What's
the difference between Rush Limbaugh and Carville? One
has a Radio Show and is the most listened to in America
and the other is a loud mouth bald liberal looser. |
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| LIBERAL
JOKES |
| Why
can’t liberals find facts? They aren’t looking for any. |
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How
do liberals brain cells die? Lonely.
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| How
do you confuse a liberal? You don’t, they are born that
way |
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| If
Hillary, Bill and all the liberals are on a sinking
ship, who gets saved? We do. |
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| What’s
the difference between an Iraq terrorist and a liberal?
The Iraq terrorist makes fewer demands. |
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| What’s
the difference between liberals and cow pies? Cow pies
stop stinking after awhile |
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| Did
you hear about the new liberal agenda. They got two
hands in your front pocket and two in you back pockets.
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What’s the definition of a liberal genius? A liberal
who can count all 50 states. |
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| What
do you get when you cross a Jackass with an onion? A
whinny Liberal. |
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| How
is being at a Democrat convention different from being
at the circus? At the circus the clowns don’t beg and
whine at you. |
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| How
do you keep a Liberal busy? Writer ‘please turn over’
on both sides f a piece of paper. |
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| How
many Liberals does it take to change a light bulb? It
takes ten, nine to deny that darkness exists and one
to hire a Republican to change it. |
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| How
much does a Liberal cost? Nothing, Liberals have no
values. |
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| How
many chromosomes does a Liberal have? Only 45, they
are missing the “Truth Acceptance Chromosome.” |
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| What
is the difference between Liberalism and Communism?
The Communist admit it. |
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| What
religion do Liberals belong to? The one that worships
a man named “Bubba.” |
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| How
high can a Liberal’s I-Q go? Only as high as the Liberal
Spin they receive. |
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Why do Liberals lie? It comes natural |
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| What
is a Liberal’s primary “feeling?” Envy. |
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| What
is a sure way to teach a Liberal to fetch? Tie Bill
Clinton’s picture to a stick and throw it. |
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| Why
do flies fly over Liberals heads? They have crap for
brains. |
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| How
can you tell a group of Liberals? They are the ones
burning the American Flag. |
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| How
can you tell a group of Liberals? They are the ones
burning the Constitution |
|
| What
is the difference between a Liberal and a bucket of
old cheese? The bucket |
|
| What
is the difference between giving to the poor and giving
to Liberals? The poor don’t follow you around for three
weeks whining for more. |
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| Why
did God make Liberal smarter than rats? He didn’t. |
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| How
do you drown a Liberal? You paint Bill Clinton’s face
at the bottom of a pool. |
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| Why
do Liberals like smart women? Opposites attract. |
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Why is it so hard for Liberals to make eye contact?
Clinton’s rear doesn’t have eyes. |
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| Why
is it so hard for Liberals to see? There are no lights
in Clinton’s rear. |
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| How
can you tell between cow pies and Liberals? You Can’t. |
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| You
Know Your a Liberal if............... |
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| You
know your a liberal if............... your mouth moves
faster than your brain. |
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| You
know your a liberal if............... you are against
the death penalty, but support abortion |
| You
know your a liberal if............... the only way you
can converse is to repeat slogans. |
| You
know your a liberal if............... you have allot
of data, but no facts. |
| You
know your a liberal if............... your two year
old lies less than you. |
| You
know your a liberal if............... you think China
is a step up for America |
| You
know your a liberal if............... you burn flags
on the 4th of July. |
| You
know your a liberal if............... you have an abortion
while wearing a “Save the Wales” T-shirt. |
|
| CLINTON,
Hillary,Monica, and Al Gore |
| What
do you say to a Liberal President who is wearing a red
tie? Will the defendant please rise. |
| Why
do Liberals follow Bill Clinton? They love the smell
of stank. |
|
What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Jesus
Christ? One is the Son of God, and the other is a S.O.B.
|
| What’s
the definition of a “frenzy?” Clinton in a whorehouse |
| What
is the difference between Bill Clinton and Jesus Christ?
One said “the truth will set you free,” and the other
said “the truth will lock me up.” |
| What
is the difference between Bill Clinton and Jesus Christ?
The Conservatives worship One, and the Liberals worship
the other. |
| Does
the Bible foretell Clinton? No, but it does speak of
a snake. |
| What
paper will carry William Jefferson Clinton’s legacy?
Toilet paper. |
| What
magazine will carry William Jefferson Clinton’s legacy?
Playboy. |
|
What is the last thing Clinton wants to hear when he
is making love? Honey I’m home. |
| How
will Bill Clinton entertain himself in jail? Hey Macarena. |
| If
you see Bill Clinton with a lady, what is the first
thing you should do? Check to see if she’s your wife. |
| Why
does Bill Clinton wear boxers not briefs? Boxers keep
his ankles warmer. |
| What
is the difference between Clinton and a tent? It is
difficult to erect a tent |
| How
does Clinton turn on the light after he makes love?
He opens the car door. |
| What
is the best Intern Bill Clinton could have? One that
never misses a period |
| Why
did Monica have to get on top? Because Clinton always
screws up. |
| How
do you know for sure when Clinton is lying? When he
opens his mouth. |
| How
can you tell the difference between Monica and Hillary?
One turns heads and the other turns stomachs. |
|
Why doesn’t Clinton’s dog buddy do tricks? Because you
have to be smarter than the dog to teach it tricks.
|
|
What sign does Clinton give when he is lying? He wags
his finger and opens his mouth. |
| What
is the difference between a dead snake on a HWY. and
a dead Clinton on the HWY.? There are skid marks before
the snake. |
| Why
is Clinton so tough on criminals? He doesn’t like competition. |
| Why
are all Hillary’s friends lesbian? So she can trust
them around her husband. |
| What
has Monica learned from her troubles? Don’t light the
cigar first. |
| Why
does Monica Lewisnsky get confused in the ladies room?
She has to pull her own pants down. |
| What
are Al Gores chances at becoming President? Excellent
if the GOP nominates a tree. |
|
How can Clinton save Hillary from drowning? If he takes
his foot off her head. |
| What
is the only thing less exciting than hearing Al Gore
speak? Watching Hillary undress. |
| What
is the only thing less boring than hearing Al Gore speak?
Nothing. |
| What
does Monica think of when she smells a cigar? Clinton. |
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E-Mail
the Wackos, and tell them What's Up
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Tell
Congress What's Up!!
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Tell
Clinton / Gore What's Up!!
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